Sidonia Chronicles: Rebel….Part I

 

Obviously a hug was out of the question-we were barely looking at each other.  On Saturday morning Uncle Turtle was very silent during the mid-day brunch.  He surprised me by looking at me and saying, “Let’s talk about your future.”  He had never mentioned a statement like this before, and moreover it was a very warm day when he would rather be left alone. I was even more elated when he said, “Let’s head to the Boston Commons and walk around the pond.”  My heart filled with emotion because no one ever took me out for outings at the park.  On sunny days like these I had often gone there with foster mother but it was only to pick up random house items at the flea market.

On the walk down I was delighted and happy to be with Uncle Turtle.  I was beside myself as we walked around the pond. I felt an inner peace…I wanted a hug badly-not a chance to merely enjoy the weather, but a moment, a memory of some kind.  I needed some indication from Uncle Turtle that he understood how alone, isolated and abandoned I felt. Indeed-this moment could be the time when he spoke about how bright my future would be.

We walked on, our hands in our pockets, towards the Boston Commons that was near the Park Street station. Pulling at Uncle Turtle’s coat, I started to feel elated that we would have this moment together!  There were all kinds of people in the park with their families. This was my moment. There were kids my age playing with their parents, and holding hands of their elders.  There were all kinds of words I wanted to hear Uncle Turtle say, but since he was so quiet about talking about my future, I would merely muster up the courage to say, “Uncle Turtle, can you ple-e-ease tell me about my future?”

As I looked at him I saw a look of sadness and disappointment in his eyes. He moved his head from left to right and made a long sigh. I wanted to throw my arms around him with hopes that he would mention how bright and smart I was. I earnestly wanted that moment I heard my friends talk about at school.  A time where their parent affirms their dreams with enthusiasm. I looked up and realized Uncle Turtle kept standing there but refused to look me in my eyes. He blandly said, “Your life will be very sad.  I am not sure what kind of future you will have.  When you get older you will see how terrible your life really is.  It’s really terrible that you have no parents.  I took you in but there is nothing I can really do for you.” I felt a deep sadness and anger towards Uncle Turtle that could only be expressed by kicking the bottle rolling on the ground.

I don’t know why his words pierced me so deeply.  On that day I realized my dreams did not matter.

To Be Continued……….

 

 

 

Add a Comment