How many times have we observed someone in the news doing an outrageous act? How many times have we observed quiet pupils bust out in a rage for “No apparent reason?” Indeed-secrets of hurt can harbor resentment and bitterness within an individual for years. It is like a festering wound that cannot go away. Depending on the emotional strain it has on an individual it can thwart their perspective of whether or not they will be successful if they strive for new goals.
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I remember a student years ago who at the onset of class explained that he had lived in varying foster homes without a sense of identity. He had so much potential but erupted out of rage and lost his opportunity to complete his studies. I saw another student who had a natural knack for public speaking tell me that she did not see a bright future because her grandmother saw more potential in her brother than her. She eventually did drop the class. There was nothing I could tell that her that would change her viewpoint of the inadequacy that she felt.

Sometimes secrets are hidden because we don’t want to believe that someone who loves us can influence us in a poor manner. We love those intense dramas that show the infamous “Dining Scene,” when all the actors have issues with each other but proceed to break bread together with superficial smiles on their faces. Only after a matter of time the table erupts as the code of silence is broken. Dr. Lickerman stated,”Though not all truths need to be shared with everyone—or even anyone—to maintain a healthy and happy life, concealing some truths is like swallowing slow-acting poison: one’s insides gradually rot.”

Sometimes we maintain a secret because we are afraid of the rejection that ensues if who we are is revealed. Some secrets are not harmful. We all love a good birthday surprise, but others can wreak havoc in our bodies and cause the same damage every time the memory of the event is recalled.

With that said, every person has had something that they have had to deal with in their lives. My hope is that the harder issues of addiction, abuse, manipulation, rejection, disappointment, and more is dealt with in a proactive manner. We all can use our experiences as weights that build our “Brain Power,” or weights that bring about shame and failure.

Getting the Secret out

1. Write in a personal journal
2. Talk to a counselor
3. Talk to your best buddies
4. Write all of your concerns and throw it in a ball of fire as a resolution
5. Speak affirmations
6. Pray and Meditate
7. Decide to Live

Interesting read:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201304/the-family-secret/the-danger-keeping-secrets

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